“Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.” – Bettina Arndt

The reason women will never be the ones to propose is that as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping. Men will be men.

“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson

You never know what you have until you clean your room.

Marriage is like a good cardio workout. If it’s never challenging, you’re probably not doing it right.

The plan is to market our original product as a new product that’s as good as the original.

As your best friend, I’ll always pick you up when you fall... after I finish laughing.

“You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.” – Michael Jordan

I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time

When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.

“Marriage is like an unfunny tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” – Knocked Up

Hey girl, I like the way we finish each others, sandwiches.

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

He gave a great 10-minute business speech yesterday. The only problem was it took him an hour to deliver it.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well

I’m just going to relax and enjoy a quiet evening at home. Mainly because I can’t afford to go anywhere or do anything.

“Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” – Gary Busey

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.