You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!

Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except for yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.

“When the waiter asked what I’d like, I handed the menu back and said “yes, please!”

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

“Girl, you can’t get no infection in your booty hole! It’s a booty hole!” – Girls Trip

Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson

Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. – Kellie Elmore

“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin’ like this — and totally redeem yourself! Ha Ha!” – Dumb & Dumber

You’re only as good as your last haircut.

This week I was pulled over by a cop. He said, “Papers.” I said, “Scissors and I win.” Don’t think the cop found it funny.

The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.

Sometimes one day changes everything; sometimes years change nothing

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.

I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate. but looking

“Love is like a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.