You know that feeling when the really cute girl walks by in the mall, and you smile, try to be smooth, and take a drink of tea, and run the straw up your nose?

I don’t want to be in a relationship, also I would rather be in a Range Rover.

“You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.” – Joel Osteen

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle

Today is my birthday but I'll take gifts whenever.

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.

“I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.” – Winston Churchill

If you can't remember my name, just say, 'chocolate' and I'll turn around.

Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

If at first you don’t succeed, maybe skydiving isn’t your sport.

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

My mom – Why is everything in your room on the floor? Me – “Mom, don’t you understand concept of gravity?

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.