You never know what you have until you clean your room.

Marriage is like a good cardio workout. If it’s never challenging, you’re probably not doing it right.

“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones

Remember when you were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.

I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.

When your happiness is less important than the other person’s happiness, my friend you are in love.

I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.

Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Except for yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.

“Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your kids.” – Sam Levenson

When someone asks ‘where is your Christmas spirit?’ is it wrong to point to the liquor cabinet?

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

“You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” – Django Unchained

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” – Maya Angelou

“Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” – Charles M. Schulz

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.

If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you got.

You know all those things you always wanted to do? You should go do them. 

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

Life is like a camera: you focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negative and if things do not work out, take another shot.

There are a lot of adventures out there waiting for you to live them. 

Better to see something once than to hear about it hundred times.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. 

The World is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.

We wander for distraction but we travel for fulfillment. 

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.